


Light and Dust

by yersifanel



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-22 21:45:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6095035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yersifanel/pseuds/yersifanel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the end Barry went back and changed history, but it doesn’t change the fact that he saw Oliver die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Light and Dust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wordswehavesaid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordswehavesaid/gifts).



> Emerson got an interesting anon talking about how Barry saw Oliver die during the Savage confrontation and those things leave a mark, I took the idea as a prompt.

His trembling fingers hold the staff but the dread consumes his senses when he realizes that it isn’t working. Vandal Savage is not backing off and the staff is hurting him instead. 

“The gauntlets aren’t working!" 

Suddenly Oliver is at his side, holding the staff as well, his eyes wide and fill with something Barry has not seen in him before, Oliver knows something terrible is about to happen. 

"You got to let go, Barry!" 

His eyes are on him, it’s a plead disguised as a command, he’s telling him to leave and Barry cannot do such thing, not matter the pain as the staff is killing him and the imminent danger ahead. 

"No, I’m not leaving you." 

He can’t, he couldn’t live with himself if he does, why is Oliver asking him this? It’s too much. 

"You’re fast enough to get away, go!" 

I don’t want to, he wants to scream, why can’t Oliver see he can’t leave him behind, it’s not an option. No. 

"Ollie, _no_." 

Oliver pulls at the staff, he knows time is over them, Vandal Savage has won, Oliver is gritting his teeth and looks at him with a silent please, listen to me! 

"Run, Barry. Run!" 

Oliver saying it ignites something in him and he’s running and no, no, please no, Oliver, no! He can’t breathe but he has to run because the world is ending behind him, everyone is dead, everyone. 

"Barry!" 

He is running so fast and the world is a blur but is not enough because all he can see is Oliver telling him to run, Oliver dying so he could escape and it hurt so much he can’t breathe. 

"Barry, wake up!" 

He runs and runs until he collides with something and the world explodes in pain. There are hands over his body and he slowly blinks away the pain, Oliver is right there hovering over him, the concern in his face is as hard to see now as it was when he told him to run, Barry frames his face with his hands and, hot tears streaming down his face. 

"I’m sorry, Ollie, I’m so sorry, I don’t want to leave, please Oliver, don’t make me leave!” he pleads short of breath, his trembling hands touching Oliver for leverage. 

“Shsss, it’s ok Barry, you’re ok,” Oliver shoos him gently, running his fingers over his sweat soaked locks, “I’m not making you go anywhere, ok?" 

"But Savage and the staff, it’s not working and you told me to run and Oliver I don’t want to leave you, I saw you and he,” he’s babbling and the concern in Oliver’s face is evident. “I saw you _die_ , Ollie… I saw you die." 

His voice was so broken but Oliver has holding him, he barely noticed he was on the floor, apparently he ran onto the wall in his sleep, it wasn’t the first time. Oliver combed his hair with his fingers and kissed his temple, helping him to stand up without letting go for a moment, using his touch and presence to ground him. 

"I’m not dead Barry,” he told him softly as the went back to the bed, “I’m right here, yes?" 

Barry made a chocked sound, grasping Oliver’s arms because he doesn’t believe him. What if this is nothing more than his mind trying to ease his pain, to make him forget what he saw, how Oliver die before his very eyes? 

"You went back in time,” Oliver explained as Barry blinked several times, he was talking out loud, voicing his doubts without noticing, “You saved us all, Barry." 

Oliver is rubbing small circles on his back, mumbling softly how Barry ran back, how he helped Oliver figure out what went wrong and finally how fix it, they won and nobody die. Some part of Barry’s chaotic mind knew that Oliver was telling the true, but the image was still there, fresh as ever, so much light… deadly light. 

"I didn’t want to leave you,” his voice is soft now and he feels tired, “You were there and he… made dust of you, light and dust." 

He closes his eyes and he sees it again: Savage, light, Oliver, death and dust. 

"Hey…" 

Barry dares to look and the light is gone and so are Oliver’s hollow eyes, instead he can see the blue in them in the middle of the night, as they lay side by side on the bed, the cover disarranged under them, Oliver’s hand cupping his face to guide him into a kiss. 

"I’m here." 

It’s soft and yet it’s grounding, he closes his eyes and instead of cobalt light and dead he can remember Oliver’s blue eyes and the quietness of the night. 

 _He’s not dead_ , he thinks over and over as Oliver holds him, drifting back to sleep. _He’s here._


End file.
